Let us cut through the marketing fluff; those floor layouts are Rorschach tests for your future suffering or happiness, not merely sketches. The sales brochure will not explain out what follows for your Tampines St 95 EC floor plan.

The three-bedroom “Classic” design is a master class in imaginative space distribution. What “study area”? A glowed-upon corridor corner where your WFH arrangement calls for a laptop positioned on your knees and a stool. If you are okay accessing drawers with your elbows, the master bedroom fits a queen bed. And the toilet for en suite? Let’s imagine your partner’s restroom habits become somewhat acquainted to you; privacy is a luxury you won’t have here.

Then there is the “Premium” 4-bedder, a humorous concept from the creator. Actually, the “family room” is only a holding cell between beds, not large enough for a two-seater sofa. If you really cook, get ready for a daily game of human Tetris with your assistance; the kitchen is meant for individuals who subsist on takeout. The “utility yard” they so take such pride in? Congratulations; you now own the most costly drying rack available in Singapore.

Geometry visits death in compact two-bedders. If you want guests on your sofa, the living room doubles as a dining area and the guest bedroom triples. Perfect for smokers, balconies are sized exactly for standing room only—great for anyone who thought they may enjoy outside dining.

The tidy small furniture icons overlook here:

• That quite cosy-looking living room? Once you consider real human movement, remove thirty percent of the imagined area.
• The “walk-in wardrobe” that hardly fits a winter coat; How every bedroom door opens straight into someone else’s private space?

Kitchen designs operate around two ideas:

• The “galley” (that is, aircraft kitchen) approach
• The “open concept” (that is, your entire house will smell like curry for days).

Creativity really comes to show in bathrooms. Efficiency allows the master bath to arrange the shower so you may wash your hair while seated on the toilet! Secondary bathrooms are sized such that drying off comes from close proximity to the sink.

Solutions for storage consist in:

• Suspended cabinets will break your head on
• “Clever nooks” suitable exactly three shoeboxes
• That one arbitrary wall from which nothing could be hung.

The true offender is The “flexible” areas noted with dotted lines. Translation: “We couldn’t think of a genuine function for this area.” That nasty junction between the kitchen and living room? Your upcoming garbage graveyard.

Electrical points are laid with the accuracy of a drunk dart player. Have to charge your phone while in bed. I hope you find extension cord trip dangers interesting. That TV wall was exactly placed. Jokes on you; the sole power point is on the other side.

The real thing you should do is:

• To the showflat bring a tape measure.
• Find out whether doors can open completely without running over furniture.
• Find out whether your king-sized bed imagination fits reality.

Remember—these floor layouts resemble dating profiles. Until you move in together and find the defects, everything appears great. That roomy living space looks great. Shrinks upon learning you cannot really fit a sofa and TV console. What “study area”? starts to be used as Amazon box dumping place.

The merciless reality? There is no flawless floor plan. Some, nevertheless, are less flawed than others. Make good decisions; you will be living with these concessions for years. And nobody wants to discover late on that their dream house is essentially a glorified shoebox with decent flooring.